Here is the text of my fourth article for the Young Adult Network:
Umm…. I had this…er…friend…one time that was awful with women. I don’t think…he…will mind if I share one of his stories with you.
From the journal of Tim Schmorrow:
Day 1: Wow! I saw this beautiful girl today! She’s new and she’s in my Literature class. She smiled at me. I think she wants me.
Day 6: Okay. So I finally talked to her. I tried to think of the coolest pick up line, but I could only think of one. So I asked if I could borrow a pencil. She said yes! So now I have her pencil. It’s a nice pencil.
Day 20: Here’s my plan: I have a friend who has a friend that knows someone that knows her. I’m going to have him ask her out for me. Awesome! I’m like Rico Suave over here!
Day 21: She said yes!
Day 25: We talked on the phone all night long! She told me a lot of personal stuff and I told her a bunch too. We are getting so close! I don’t know if I can live without her. I think I love her.
Day 27: I told my friends about the time she wet her pants at summer camp. She got mad and told every one that I was a bad kisser. I hate that girl! I just broke up with her in the mIRC chat room.
Day 28: I saw her crying in the hallway today. She saw me and walked away. I shouldn’t have spread those rumors about her. I feel bad. I guess I still like her after all. It’s too late now, though. I ruined it.
Okay smarty, you figured me out. There is no Tim Schmorrow. This is a memory of one of my first middle school week-long romances. You know what I’m talking about: the “I love you, I hate you, and now I love the person next to you” kind of relationships. I love looking back on those days and laughing about how stupid I was.
I’m married now. It’ll be a year in December. When I thought back on this experience, I saw some startling similarities between it and my marriage: I still end up sabotaging myself. My wife does, too. Many of us do. When Amanda and I got married, we did so because we loved each other and wanted to share the most intimate parts of our souls with each other. The problem is that this isn’t a natural thing to do.
Even animals hide the soft stuff on the inside: turtles, oysters, and (for you southerners out there) armadillos. To share intimately with another is a fight against our human make up. For many of us, this is where the self-sabotage begins. Though we invite our loved ones into our lives, the possibility of getting hurt still exists. When the fear of exposure sets in, it is easier to strike back than to trust. Thus starts the cycle.
If only I could share my deepest soul with someone and know that I am safe. If only I could let someone in that won’t judge or belittle me. If only I could do this one time, I’m sure it will be easier the next. If only I could share the deepest parts of my soul with God. That’s what it boils down to. God created us as individuals with a plan for our lives. We will never be fully ourselves until God has imbued every corner of our being. Don’t you see how this trickles down into our relationships with other people?
If you are having trouble in a relationship, I challenge you to take some time and bare your soul to the Lord. Let Him in. Tell Him your deepest darkest secrets. Bask in His grace and forgiveness. Splash around in the love that He pours down on you. When you have a relationship with God that involves no closed doors, He will bless your earthly relationships. He will allow you to share more of yourself with those you love. He will help you break the cycle of sabotage.